When Yugi meets FFN
by floraqueen14
Summary: A simple arguement doesn't turn out well for a favorite vertically challenged hero, Yugi. Humor. No pairings!


It was a sunny summer morning, children were playing outside under sprinklers, couples were eating ice cream in the park and eight guys were gathered in a small bedroom, some stood around a computer while others occupied a couch, all were in inside. Yugi was sitting in front of the computer. Yami stood at his right while Bakura and Ryou stood at his left. Bakura sighed.

"Will you find that stupid website, already?" He asked sounding bored.

" Be patient, Bakura." Ryou said with a frown, " Yugi is doing his best on Malik's computer since you and Yami destroyed his." He said, a glare appearing on his normally calm face. Bakura blushed slightly.

" Blame the Pharaoh. If he had just lost that Shadow Game then the computer never would have been broken." He said with a glare at the taller, golden banged boy. Yami, or the Pharaoh as Bakura called him, glared back at him.

" Oh, so I'm just supposed to lose my puzzle to you, Tomb Robber? Ha, fat chance of that!" Yami said sarcastically. Yugi ignored his fighting yami and continued searching through the endless list of websites. The four boys on the couch watched his progress thanks to the projector hooked up to the computer.

" So, Malik, how did you get banned from Google?" Joey asked Malik who sat to his left on the black couch. Malik glared at the boy sitting on the arm of the chair to his left.

" Because, Marik sent that email to Google and they traced it back to my computer and banned me from that site." He said angrily flipping his blond hair out of his lavender eyes. His yami shrugged.

" I didn't mean it, Malik. Bakura thought it would be funny." He said trying to look innocent but failing. Bakura broke off from his argument with Yami, which had somehow turned into a competition to see who could name the most monster cards. He glared at Marik.

" How was I to know they'd track that email to Malik's computer?" He asked angrily.

" You're the King of Thieves and you didn't know emails can be tracked? Wow, you're even stupider Joey." A cold voice said from the far right of the couch. The owner of the voice was Kaiba who glared with cold blue eyes at Bakura.

" Well, we can't all be stinking rich CEO s, Kaiba." Joey said.

" Careful, Joey, you don't want Kaiba to sick his Blue Eyes on you." Yami said with a laugh. Joey laughed as Kaiba glared at him.

" Eureka!!" Yugi exclaimed from the computer, " I found it." Everyone turned to look at either the computer screen or projector. The screen showed the opening page of Finally, now we'll get this stupid argument over with." Ryou said with a roll of his eyes. The argument he was referring to, had started earlier in the day.

_Yugi, Yami and Joey had gone to the park to meet up with Ryou and Malik. Well, Yugi had gone to meet Malik. Yami and Joey had simply gone to meet up with Kaiba for another duel. The CEO was convinced he had found a way to beat Yami. Malik and Marik had just moved from Egypt, the day before for unknown reasons. Ryou had stressed that they not ask the reason the two Egyptians had moved to Japan, and why Ishizu and Odion weren't with them. Yugi had run off to talk to Ryou and Malik with Yami and Joey following behind them. Tristan was on a date with Serenity and Tea had dance lessons, which explained why neither were at the park. Although, Joey could have sworn he heard Tristan and Tea laughing when he said he was going to watch Yami duel in the park. The park was hot, but not enough to be uncomfortable. He was walking along quietly cursing himself for bringing his coat while Yami checked his cards, when an ice cream cone suddenly hit Yami in the face. He jumped from the sudden coldness and dropped his cards. As Joey bent down to help him gather his cards, he was kicked in the rear and bumped Yami, who had also bent over, in the head. Joey sat down rubbing his aching head when he heard maniacal laughter in the background. Yami looked up and glared at the laughers._

_" Bakura and Marik, why are you even here?" Yami spat, angrily. Bakura and Marik were leaning against a tree beside them. Its a wonder they never noticed they were there. Bakura walked over to them and kicked dirt onto Yami's cards before picking up the Dark Magician card. " You even carry your duel deck in this hot weather? Wow, you are obsessed, Pharaoh." He said with a smirk. Yami glared at him and reached to grab his card out of Bakura's hand. Bakura pulled the card away and handed it to Marik who snickered as he pulled a lighter out of his pocket. Yami's face paled._

_" You wouldn't." He said nervously. Marik smirked like Bakura._

_" Oh I wouldn't, Pharaoh? Why wouldn't I?" He asked holding the card above his unlit lighter._

_" Because you won't get dinner for a week." Malik said grabbing the card from Marik while Ryou grabbed the lighter. Marik and Bakura turned to look at their hikaris, no longer smiling. Malik put his bronze arms on his pants. He was wearing his usual black pants and sleeveless purple belly shirt. (A/N: I forgot to mention all the guys are wearing the same clothes they wore to Battle City. Which means Kaiba's wearing that jacket and long-sleeved shirt. Why are they all wearing pants even they knew they would be there for some time? Because I said so.) " I can't leave you alone for a minute and you're already making trouble with Bakura. Try to not make enemies on our first day back to Japan." He said with a frown at his darker half. Bakura rolled his eyes._

_" Geez, Malik, give Marik a break. He didn't just, make enemies with the pharaoh. They've been enemies since his," He jabbed a thumb at Kaiba who was walking up to them with Mokuba in toe "tournament." Yami turned to Kaiba as he stopped in front of him._

_" Are you ready to duel, Yami?" He asked ignoring Yugi's friendly wave. Yami nodded and they walked off with their duel disks. Bakura and Marik exchanged glances and then grabbed Joey as he moved to get up and follow them, they dragged him after the two duelists. Yugi shook his head sadly. "Now back to our conversation. Ryou, I can't believe you'd think Yami would get more hits then me. He isn't even around for most of the seasons." Yugi said proudly. Malik snorted. " You mean you weren't around for most the seasons. The Pharaoh is usually there and we almost never see you. Who fights the final earth-shattering duels? The pharaoh, not you. Sorry but you probably have the least out of anyone." Malik said with a smile._

_" He might not have more than Yami but that just means he's the only hikari to have less then his yami. Because we'd have more then Bakura and Marik." Ryou said and then he frowned. " Right?" He asked looking uncertain. Malik nodded._

_" Of course. We'll go to your house to prove it." He said. Yugi and Ryou shook their heads._

_"We can't use Yugi's computer. He and I don't have one." Ryou said sheepishly while he blushed. Malik looked confused when he saw Yugi glare at Yami and Bakura._

_" Can't we use yours, Malik?" Ryou suggested. Malik nodded but didn't say anything. He was watching Marik and Bakura wreak havoc on Yami and Kaiba's duel. They were yelling obscenities whenever Yami made a move and cheered when Yami lost a monster, even if the monster was in defense mode. Obviously, Yami was getting annoyed. Kaiba was annoyed because Marik had grabbed Mokuba and was carrying him around like an American football. He refused to put the younger boy down, even when he looked about ready to lose his lunch. Ryou sighed and grabbed Yugi and Malik, and walked over to the others. Joey was leaning against a tree, looking dazed from watching Bakura and Marik run around the duel arena with Mokuba._

_" Yami, can you stop your duel, please? Yugi has to go to Malik and Marik's apartment." Ryou asked politely._

_" Why do we have to stop a duel all because the shrimp has to go potty?" Kaiba sneered. Yugi and Yami glared at him._

_" I don't have to use the bathroom. We're going to see who has the most fan fiction hits, Yami or me." He explained. Bakura and Marik stopped running around and Marik put Mokuba down. He wobbled over to a near by bush and could be heard hurling into it._

_"I want to see that. Finally, something the Pharaoh isn't better at then everyone else." Bakura said as he and Marik came over._

_" So you admit I'm better than you in everything. I'm touched Tomb Robber." Yami said with a smirk. He then turned to Kaiba._

_" How about we pause this duel until we come back? " He asked. Kaiba shrugged._

_" Fine, besides I want to see how many hits I have." He said with a small smile. Joey was pulled up and the limo was called to take Mokuba home. Then the eight guys walked the five blocks to Marik and Malik's apartment. It was small and painted sky blue._

_" And i thought it would be lilac." Bakura muttered causing Malik to blush. Malik lead them to his living room which had the couch and computer. This room was lilac._

_" Looks like i spoke too soon." Bakura said with a sigh._

_" Shut up, Bakura." Malik snapped as Yugi and Ryou went over to the computer and turned it on. Joey collapsed on the couch in between Kaiba and Malik while Marik sat on the arm._

" You were seeing how many fan fiction are written about us?" Kaiba asked with a shudder. Yugi nodded.

" Yep, I did say that. "He said as he clicked on the the link, Anime. Then found the Yu-gi-oh link. He changed the category to Romance and put the first character, Yami Y.

" Why are you looking at Romance?" Marik asked. Yugi, Ryou and Malik blushed.

" Because, we're trying to find out who is the hottest." Malik explained while Yugi click the GO button. The screen showed Yami had 68 pages.

" K, so how many hits is that?" Joey asked.

" 1700." Kaiba answered. Everyone looked at him. " What?" he asked, aware of their eyes on him. Joey grinned.

" You've been here before, Kaiba." He said with a cheeky grin.

" How do you know that?" Kaiba asked with a glare.

" Because each page has 25 hits." Joey said. Now it was Joey's turn to be stared at.

" How did you know that? Yugi didn't even scroll down to the bottom of the screen. Have you been here, before?" He asked. Joey shook his head.

" Nope, I just know 1700 divided by 68 is 25." He explained.

" You're smart?" Malik asked looking astonished.

" Of course, how else would i have gotten so far in the tournaments?" Joey asked looking a little annoyed. Kaiba shrugged.

" I always assumed it was dumb luck." He said. Joey's face reddened.

" Dumb luck? I'll show you dumb luck." He said angrily grabbing his arm as his hand tightened into a fist. Malik and Marik started laughing.

" Hey Kaiba, you know what happens when you assume?" Malik asked with a smile.

" You make an ass out of you and me." Yugi and Ryou chorused, laughing. Their yamis stared at them as Yugi changed the character listing to his name.

" Yugi, how do you know that?" Yami asked cautiously. Yugi gave Yami an odd look.

" From school, I'm not stupid or as innocent as these fan girls think I am." He said with a frown as his results came up. The screen showed he had 49 pages which meant at most he had 1225. Much less than Yami. Ryou and Malik shouted for joy, they had won!

" Shut up." Yugi muttered. Ryou tapped him on the head.

" I want to see how many Bakura and I have." Ryou said.

" Yeah, do Marik and me." Malik shouted from the couch.

" Don't forget about me." Joey yelled. Kaiba didn't say anything. After typing in all the boys present, the results were as follows

Yami: 1700, Yugi: 1225, Joey: 1125, Ryou: 967, Bakura: 925, Kaiba: 550, Malik: 400, Marik: 225.

Obviously, some people weren't happy. Yugi, Kaiba, Malik and Marik were upset by their standings. Joey was happy he was third behind Yugi and Yami. Ryou was happy being 4th and ahead of Bakura. Bakura was happy he had the most, for a villain. He was bragging loudly, much to Marik's annoyance.

" I don't see why you're so happy. You're fifth behind the Pharaoh." Marik said angrily. Bakura laughed.

" So? I'm not far behind Ryou and no other villain has as much as me." He said proudly. Marik rolled his eyes. "The pharaohs ahead of his hikari by 475 and you're behind yours by 175. And me? I'm behind Ryou by a measly 42 which means I can make a come back." Bakura continued.

Yami was trying make Yugi feel better but he wasn't doing a good job because Ryou and Malik were talking beside them.

" Listen, little one, its no big deal. This doesn't prove anything." He said gently.

" How does it not prove anything, Yami? You have 1700 and I have 1225. Like Bakura said, its a 475 hits difference." Yugi wailed before banging his head on the keyboard.

" I don't know what you're complaining about. You're not 7th." Malik said with a sniff.

" You're at least higher then your yami." Yugi pointed out. Yami frowned.

" What's wrong with being a yami?" He asked looking somewhat hurt.

" Nothing, Yami, I didn't mean anything bad about you. I'm sorry." He said with a smile. " Why don't you and Kaiba finish up your duel." He suggested. Yami nodded but still looked worried.

" Come on, Kaiba, I believe we have duel to finish." Yami said walking over to the brooding brunette. He stood up silently and followed Yami out the door, pausing in the doorway once.

" You have a dump. Personally, I don't know why you dragged me into this roach infested, rat's nest. Hire a maid next time you think of inviting people over." He stated coldly before leaving. Malik's eyes narrowed.

" You know, i think he still holds a grudge from when you guys crashed his tournament. Either that or he isn't happy about his standing." Joey said sarcastically getting up to follow them. Yugi rolled his eyes and put his head back on the keyboard. Malik and Marik exchanged glances and then grinned at the same time. They pushed Bakura and Ryou out of the room.

" What are you doing?" A very surprised Ryou asked before the door slammed shut and was locked. Yugi raised his head when he heard the commotion and turned around in the swivel chair to look at Malik and Marik. The two Egyptians walked over to stand on either side of Yugi.

" What do you two want?" Yugi asked cautiously. Malik bent down to stare directly into Yugi's dark purple eyes.

" We want what you want, little one. Revenge against those annoying fan girls." Malik said smoothly. Marik bent down as well.

" Yeah, they thought the Pharaoh is better than you and that isn't right, is it?" Marik asked looking sad. Yugi shook his head.

" No, but its O.K." Yugi said.

" No, its not!" Malik said as his eyes widened.

" We can help you get back at them and make them realize you're much better than some stupid Pharaoh who's been dead for who knows how long." Marik said. Yugi looked from both boys. Their eyes held the same identical mischievous glint. He shrugged. 'So much for Malik having a change of heart.' he thought.

" What do you want to do?" He asked finally. The two Egyptians' faces broke into identical grins.

" We're just going to send a letter to all of the Pharaoh's fan girls." Marik said grinning evilly.

Yugi shrugged again. " Sure, let's do it." He said easily. Malik frowned for a moment.

" You don't have a problem with this?" He asked cautiously. Yugi shook his head.

" Tea's friendship speeches haven't gotten to me yet, so no, i guess not." He said calmly. Malik smiled.

" Excellent." He said. Yugi smiled evilly.

" Now let's get cracking." He said before turning the chair around. He then started typing crazily on the computer.

Who said Yugi was the purest of the hikaris?

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Don't hate me for making Marik evil. I just wanted to, for the sake of the story. I personally like fics where Yugi surprises everyone by being bad ass or something like that. I don't like it where he's completely innocent. You blame my liking Bad Ass Yugi, on who ever made the Yugi/Malik fic. That was good. If you find it and don't mind odd pairings and you're not a fan of Yami, then I suggest you read it. I might post the link in my profile. whispers If I can find it. O. K., Kura, say the magic words.

Bakura: Review now!

Me: sweat drop Thank You, Kura.


End file.
